I have always been an outsider... I never really had any friends but people remember me... which to this day still baffles me.
I middle school I started choir and that was a fun but my real outlet was Drama.
In my eighth grade year our class was slip up in two half of us were to do one play (Snow white updated version) and another play (I can remember train tracks)... I was chosen to have a part in both plays. I was so excited, the teacher had a lot of faith in me and I was so appreciative because if it.
Once I was in High school my outlet was Choir, it was the only place I felt safe. There were some pretty mean people in high school.
By my senior year I had had enough, one clear memory was being in mythology class... which by the way how can religion be banned from school but they can teach about Greek gods?
There was this boy Jim who would always sit behind me and pick on me. One day he grabbed a peace of paper and wrapped it about my face... I was panicking I could not breathe.. it took me a minute to realize it was paper and I could rip it, but he was holding it so tight.. When I finally did get it off my face I looked and the teacher seen the whole thing.
From that day on I would walk right by him and skip his class. He would watch me walk out the door get in my car and drive away... everyday.. and never did anything.
So school was not a good place for me, choir was the only place where I felt there was a person who cared and that was Mr. P. he would actually go out of his way to make sure I was okay.
I got my first job when I was 14 and worked in the summer at Payless, Of course it was off the records I had a friend that worked there and they needed help doing inventory so I would go close to closing time and work. It was fun... to this day when I go into a shoe store I will turn one shoes one way against the other.
My first official job was at McDonald;s where I would work until I was 18.
I loved working there because that is where I felt I had friends, we would drive around after work. hang out and just have fun.
One time we all piled into my car and went to downtown Flint, (I have no idea why) and a police car started to follow me, this of course made me nervous. It was one close to two o'clock in the morning. Now it is important to know that there are many one way streets in down town Flint. I happen to turn the wrong way on one and he turned his lights on and we were all freaking out.
Not that we had anything in the car that would get us in trouble. when he came up to the car he asked why we were out and about and our manager said we have just left some training. I know he knew we were lying. I looked at him and said: "Officer we live in Swartz creek we literally have one one way street, I am so sorry".
He let us go but he said; "make a u-turn in the street go home"... now instead of doing what he told me, I thought a u-turn is against the law... so I said; "I can't make a u-turn you will give me a ticket" everyone in the car was freaking out... He looked at me with a stern look and said: "MAKE A U-TURN and GO HOME" so I did.
My mom's poor Lesabre boy did we have fun...
Starting at the entrance of the drive and flooring it till we hit the hill in the back... the hill is gone it is now a parking lot..
When Arby's was being built John and Joanne went into the building I was too chicken... But they had fun running through it....
At 18 Joanne and I would have a great idea to move in together and it would have been a wonderful idea until my brother asked if he could move in. So a two bedroom was now made for three... we shared a room and he got his own..
My mom and dad would put the house we grew up in for sale because we where gone...
When they moved into Flint I moved with them...
That would began a new chapter in my life...
Next time I will touch on the darkness that existed in my life during my youth on God was there even when I was not following my faith.
Heavenly Father:
Thank you for watching over us during our crazy nights, Thank you for keeping me smart when I was in school so many days would I come home and I was close to suicide but you were there with me. Thank you for loving me a sinner and thank you for forgiving me..
I pray that anyone struggling in school as someone that they can turn to that can help them figure it out, I pray that we all seek a deeper relationship with you.
In Jesus Name, I pray.
Amen
Listening too:
You Speak Audrey Assad
For Love of You Audrey Assad
The House You're Building Audrey Assad
Breaking Through Audrey Assad
Everything Is Yours Audrey Assad
Restless Audrey Assad
Carry Me Audrey Assad
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