6/7/2014 GRANDMA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN

My daughter used to tell me when she was little that she chose me as a mom, that Jesus asked her who did she want as a mom and she picked me.
If this is true, I am so Blessed that my mom picked my grandma as her mom, and that I picked my mom. 
If you were to ask me who my grandma was to me I would have to say that; 
She was the best grandma anyone could ever ask for, but it did not end there.  She was also my best friend and would talk to me whenever I needed it... she would call me when I was down out of the blue as if she felt that I needed her.  We had a connection that was beautiful, when my grandma knew I was sick she would be at the hospital for every surgery.  After I came home she would send over home cooked meals and fruit that she knew I loved.
She cared for me as if I was her own, please do not get me wrong my mom is an amazing mom.... but this is about my grandma.

After heart surgery, back surgery, c-section, gallbladder surgery, I was told that I had cancer in the lining of the uterus.  My doctor was positive he had called me in and even put me on chemo medicine.  I would have a hysterectomy and when I went for my followup appointment he said there was no trace of cancer.  Grandma was so excited, we all were... the doctor was speechless..  If I only knew what my grandma had done...
Within a year my grandma was in the same place I was... cancer in the lining of the uterus.
She would have a major stroke during surgery and her life would begin to go down hill from there.  I asked her once if she prayed to take my cancer from me... she said yes.  I knew in my heart she had, it was in the same exact spot and she was just the selflessness.  She was more concerned about everyone over herself.

It is 12:54 a.m. which makes it officially grandma's birthday today... but she is not here...
She went home to be with the Lord in January, I know that she is with my Aunt Cathy who died when she was ten days old due to heart complications, my grandpa who passed away in 1984 from cancer, her mom and dad, all of her brothers and one of her sisters.
I know that heaven is singing her Happy Birthday and it is a beautiful day today there... but here is a different story.  
For there is no reason to celebrate, no reason to sing, to reason to smile, no reason to even leave the house.  Except for one reason and it is FAITH!  I believe in My Lord Jesus Christ and my grandma did too, this is why I know that she is in heaven.  She had a faith that was so strong, one that was to be admired. 
She would get on her knees every night to pray for every single one of us... and there are a lot of us.
There are so many things I miss:
Telling her I love you
Hearing her say I love you
Hearing her say my name
Talking to her about everything
getting her advice
hearing stories
hearing her plans
hearing her talk about those "Darn republicans" Yes I even miss that
calling her because I had a bad day
calling her because I had an appointment and she wanted to know how it went
the smell of her
her laughter
her smile
catching her swearing.. whenever she swore I would say "Grandma!" and she would laugh
I miss her cooking
I miss her recipes
I miss her
I miss the way kept everyone together
I will miss going places with her
The farmers market in Durand will not be the same
having her go with me to my appointments
having her at every one of my surgeries
having her with me
her and her nonjudgmental unconditional love
Her hands
her ideas
her creativity
her
the way she loved the faith
the way she loved Our Blessed Mother
the way she loved Family
the way she loved
her calling me just because
I Miss My Grandma!!
I Miss My Best Friend
I Miss the one who understood me so well
I Miss her so much that it hurts, the only thing that gets me through it is knowing that when I get through the life God has planned for me I will see her again, and when I do...
I will hug her to tight that I will not have to worry about breaking her, she always felt so delicate.