As I look back at my life it is incredible how many times I should have, could have, would have died.... yet He had other plans...
When I was younger around first grade I was in a car accident... a drunk driver hit the truck I was in and it flipped five times stopping upside down. I crawled out the back window with my eyes closed. Even though my eyes were closed I could see a light.. I followed the light as I grew closer and closer the light became brighter and brighter. I felt someone grab me and immediately after hearing a loud crash... The tailgate of the truck came crashing down if it were not for the person who grabbed me the tailgate would have came crashing down upon me... No one on the scene including police, ambulance, fire and many witnesses seen anyone grab me.. I know in my heart that I was grabbed by my angel..
In 1999 I found out I was pregnant... I would be in the hospital seven times before giving birth in 2000 with complications... My daughter would be born healthy as can be..
In 2005 I left work because I could not keep anything down including water, I would be diagnosed with ViralCardiomyothopy which is a virus that attacked my heart, they checked everything and it all looked great accept the heart muscle itself. I had a EF level of 13 (the normal is 65-70) I was given a pacemaker/defibrillator. I was told that I would need a heart transplant in five years (2010) and it would only last five years (2015) and that I would be dead in ten years (2015). As of this time I am "too healthy" to be put on the transplant list.
In 2007 I needed my gallbladder out, the anesthesiologist came in minutes before the surgery and said; "You cannot have this surgery your heart is too weak you will die on the table!" My mom and grandmother were present I remember looking up and each of them, their faces were one of terror, one told me "We are Irish and we fight" and the other said "God is in control" as they stood there in terror I felt a peace that I cannot explain...
2014 I decided to take my own life by taking 250 pills, I was told by the hospital that if it were not for my pacemaker I would have been dead... The amount of heart pills I took my blood pressure should have been 0/0.
I believe everyone of us are on this earth for a reason, some of us know what that reason is, some of us want to know what that reason is so bad it hurts.. and some of us do not even believe that we could even be worthy enough to have a reason to live....
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