THE FIX IT BUTTON....

If I had a fix it button....
I would pay as much as possible in order to have this button that would allow me to go back and fix what I have done... Although what I have done has made me who I am...
I would pray that it did not have a limit or have a battery in fear that when I needed it most the battery would die and I would have to try and find one of those small screwdrivers to open it and then pray that I had a battery to replace it...
I would not care what color my fix it button was... it could be black, grey or white...
No matter what color it was you would only be able to see the many finger prints on it, and after a while the color would wear off due to so much usage...

In the beginning I would convince myself not to use it that often... I would tell myself to use only in case of emergency and would even pay extra to have it put in a glass case that I would have to break, like you see in some fire alarms...

There are times in my recent life that I know I could use this button:
*I would hit the fix it button and take me back into time and change the night of September 15th..  
*I would go back even further and make sure I was taking my medication...
*I would take back everything I said to all of my friends and family during that time: A person can apologize but once the words are said it is hard to forgive for some...
*I would hit it every time my daughter gave me that look, the look of "am I okay with you?"
*Every time she mentions my "illness"...
*Every time I get caught up in my little problems: that are in reality not that big at all compared to so many others....
*Every time my mom calls just to "See if we are okay": She does this out of love and I know she worries...
*Every time I have fell away from God: Even though when I look back I can see His presence with me through it all..

Maybe this is why there is no "Fix it Button" we have to stumble in our journey in order to grow, become stronger, build stronger relationships with God, friends and family...
The hardest part is knowing that I have hurt my daughter...
Now that is something I have to Fix and it will take time, and she is not patient...
Yet love is patient...

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Listening too:

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

[3x]
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Watch the video here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw